


The Blue Bird

by PeachyJaemin



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Like Heavy Angst, M/M, Mentioned Divorce, Mentioned bullying, Mentions of Blood, but also fluff in the beginning, childhood friends nomin, hanahaki disease au, jaemin is sensitive and cries a lot, jeno's oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-03 20:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14576982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyJaemin/pseuds/PeachyJaemin
Summary: " 'I finally asked Renjun to be my boyfriend,' Jeno spoke excitedly, eyes practically sparkling as he told Jaemin the news...The second Jaemin got home he ran into the bathroom, kneeling in front of the toilet and coughing his lungs out, a mixture of flower petals and blood falling into the bowl."





	The Blue Bird

_I wanna say it all, they say you’ll get sick if you keep hiding_  
_My heart won’t work like I want it to_  
_It gets heavier, the more it grows_  
_I keep getting scared_  
_What if only pain remains?_  
_What if you never see me?_  
_Like a blue bird in a cage_

_\- April, "The Blue Bird"_

 

 _ **Kindergarden: 2005-2006** _

  **June 2005**

   Jaemin stood behind his mother, clutching her skirt tightly in his small fists as he peaked around her hip, staring at the people she was talking to. A new family had moved in nextdoor and his mother had dragged him out of the house so he could introduce himself to their son. "Jaemin, sweetie, don't be shy say hi to Jeno, he doesn't bite." his mom said, coaxing him out of his hiding spot behind her legs. He reluctantly let go of her skirt, stepping out to the side and staring nervously at the boy in front of him. 

   "Hi! I'm Jeno." the other boy introduced himself happily, extending his arm out for a handshake, eyes disappearing as he gave Jaemin a bright smile.

   "J-Jaemin..." he responded, hesitant as he grabbed Jeno's hand, a small smile forming on his face as Jeno excitedly shook his hand, saying they would be great friends.

 

** August 2005 **

   Jeno and Jaemin were joint at the hip all of summer. They would do everything together, go to the park, go swimming, play video games, watch TV, everything. There was even an occasion where Jaemin started crying, thinking Jeno would go to a different kindergarten and they would never see each other again. However, this worry disappeared when Jaemin entered his kindergarten classroom on the first day and saw Jeno sitting among all of the other kids. The second Jeno saw Jaemin walk through the door he jumped up and ran to his best friend, hugging him as tightly as possible. Even in school they were constantly joint at the hip.

 

 

_** 6th Grade: 2011-2012 ** _

** September 2011 **

   All throughout elementary school Jeno and Jaemin never separated. They made two new friends, Donghyuck and Chenle, in fifth grade and they stuck with Jeno and Jaemin, not really having anyone else. Both of them were considered outcasts, Chenle having moved to Korea with his parents in the third grade, didn't know a lot of Korean so the other kids wouldn't talk to him (however, Jeno and Jaemin would cheer him up by bragging to the other kids about how  _their_ friend spoke Chinese and no one else did). Donghyuck, on the other hand, was just weird. In Kindergarten he was that kid that ate bugs, drank glue, and openly picked his nose, not even trying to hide it. Obviously he had changed since then but it had left a lingering impression on everyone else.

   So many things changed when they got into middle school. They started to have to ride the bus since the middle school was a lot further from their houses than the elementary school was. Jeno and Jaemin would walk to the bus together every morning and every afternoon after school they would walk home from the bus stop together.

   One of the biggest changes was how everyone acted. It was like everyone had suddenly changed. Kids split up into their own little groups, boys and girls were suddenly all holding hands with each other, and other people just became so  _mean_. It all confused Jaemin so much.

   It confused Jaemin why boys and girls would hold hands and hug all the time. Was he supposed to want that with a girl? Why didn't he want to hold hands with a girl like all of the other boys did?

   It confused Jaemin even more when people he was friends with just a year ago were suddenly so mean to him. When they would walk up to him with menacing smiles on their faces as they laughed at him for "having such a big mouth" or other things about his appearance that he couldn't change. He really didn't understand what these people gained from saying things like that.

   But what confused him most of all was why his heart would race when Jeno jumped in and told the bullies to leave him alone, and why in his head, in his dreams, he could never see himself holding a girl's hand, he could only ever see himself holding Jeno's hand.

   Middle school was too confusing and Jaemin decided that he  _really_ didn't like it at all.

 

**January 2012**

   Half-way through Jaemin's sixth grade year his parents told him they were getting a divorce. At first, Jaemin didn't fully understand what that meant but with some explaining and careful words he understood. That night he locked himself in his room and refused to come out, crying himself to sleep.

   The next day, Jeno was shocked to see his best friend sitting on the porch where he waits for Jeno every morning to ride the bus. He was crying his eyes out rather than greeting Jeno with his wide signature smile.

   He immediately ran to his best friend, sitting down in front of him and pulling him into a tight embrace and letting him cry on his shoulder, "Nana, what's wrong?" Jeno asked, worry laced in his voice as he tried his best to comfort his friend. The only time he had seen Jaemin cry that hard was in second grade when the arm of his favorite teddy bear fell off (luckily Jeno's mom knew how to sew and was able to fix it easily) so he knew this had to be something serious.

   "My..." Jaemin sniffled, another sob leaving his mouth, "My parents are getting a divorce." he managed to choke out before breaking down in sobs again.

   "Shit, Jaemin," Jeno muttered, holding his best friend tighter, "I'm so sorry..." he held the younger for a few more moments before letting go, getting up from where him and Jaemin were sitting on the ground and grabbing his hands, helping him up as well before pulling him towards his house.

   "J-Jeno, what about school?" Jaemin asked, stumbling along as he tried to keep up.

   "Your happiness is more important, we're going to eat ice cream and play video games all day so you'll cheer up." Jaemin smiled at Jeno's words, blushing as he realized him and Jeno were holding hands (and he didn't want to let go).

 

 

_**8th Grade: 2013-2014** _

**March 2014**

   It had been two years since Jaemin's little crush on Jeno had started and back then he had assumed it would go away fairly quickly but it only got stronger with time. Middle school was coming to an end as spring began. The air was becoming warmer, flowers began to bloom, cherry blossoms fell, and they would be done with eighth grade in only two and a half months. Jaemin was excited to finally get out of middle school but he was also nervous to start high school and be surrounded by so many new faces he didn't know.

   He was so worried when his parents split up that whoever would get custody over him would move to a new neighborhood or city or  _country_ and that he wouldn't see Jeno everyday anymore. Luckily his mom got full custody and his dad moved out, meaning he wouldn't be going anywhere any time soon.

 

 

_**Sophmore Year (10th Grade): 2015-2016** _

**November 2015**

   High school ended up being not nearly as scary as Jaemin expected it to be, his friend circle never changed, it was always Jaemin, Jeno, Donghyuck and Chenle. The only actual change was that Freshman year Chenle started dating a boy named Park Jisung, who was soon added to their group.

   It was the weekend and Jaemin was at Jeno's house, sitting on the floor of his room watching Jeno play video games. He found himself watching Jeno more than the game though. He couldn't help but stare at Jeno's perfect bone structure, eyes moving to his lips as he thought about how badly he wanted to kiss him. He had to keep those thoughts bottled up though, his friendship with Jeno was too precious to him and he didn't want to mess it up.

 

 

_**Junior Year (11th Grade): 2016-2017** _

**October 2016**

   "I finally asked Renjun to be my boyfriend," Jeno spoke excitedly, eyes practically sparkling as he told Jaemin the news. It was after school and they were standing outside of their last class; they were about to leave before Jeno stopped walking to tell Jaemin what happened.

   "I'm assuming he said yes?" Jaemin asked, a fake smile forced onto his features so he could at least pretend to be happy for his best friend.

   "Yes! He was so cute when I asked him, he was blushing and he was all shy, god it was so cute..." Jeno answered, beginning to ramble as he talked about his new boyfriend. Jaemin was really trying his hardest to keep his tears down at that point. He just wished Jeno was saying those words about  _him_ and not Renjun.

    He waited until Jeno was done rambling to force out a quiet "I'm happy for you." as the fake smile on his face began to look more and more forced.

   "Jaemin, are you okay?" Jeno asked, his expression of excitement morphing into one of worry and confusion.

   "Uh y-yeah... I'm fine, I just don't feel very well." Jaemin answered. He wasn't entirely lying, he felt itching in his throat the second Jeno said yes, and Jaemin already knew exactly what that meant. "I should go home, I'll see you tomorrow, Jeno."

   "Okay, I would go with you to make sure you're okay but I'm going out with Renjun after school." Jeno said, an apologetic look on his face.

   "It's fine, Jeno, your boyfriend is more important. I'll see you tomorrow." Jaemin spoke, turning around and walking away before Jeno could say anything (or see the tears that started to fall onto his cheeks).

 

   The second Jaemin got home he ran into the bathroom, kneeling in front of the toilet and coughing his lungs out, a mixture of flower petals and blood falling into the bowl. He heard his mom rush in and kneel on the floor next to him, running a hand through his hair in hopes of giving him a bit of comfort.

   By the time he was done he had tears streaming down his face. He lifted his head and sat back slightly, seeing cherry blossom petals and blood in the water. His mother opened her arms and he immediately fell into her tight embrace, sobbing against her shoulder. She tried her hardest to comfort him, running one hand through his hair and running the other up and down his back.

   "Who is it baby?" his mom questioned once he had calmed down a bit, now only sniffling  against her shoulder.

   "It's Jeno... he got a boyfriend." Jaemin muttered, his tears started to fall again as he said the words out loud. His mom hugged him tighter, not surprised at all that her son had fallen for Jeno; she was more shocked that Jeno never noticed.

 

**April 2017**

Jaemin had been living with Hanahaki Disease for about half a year and somehow had managed to keep it a secret from Jeno and Renjun. Chenle, Jisung and Donghyuck already knew about his feelings for Jeno, he told them back in sophmore year when his feelings started to get stronger, so he told them about what was going on.

   There were days when his condition was so bad he had to stay home from school, having to jump out of bed every fifteen minutes to cough up more petals. On these days Chenle, Jisung, and Donghyuck would go to his house after school and spend time with him and take care of him. Since Jaemin didn't want Jeno to know that he wasn't healthy those three would always have to convince Jeno that Jaemin was fine and just woke up late and decided to stay home; of course Jeno didn't believe that for long since it was unlike Jaemin to miss any school at all, even when he had the flu.

   It was like any other Friday when all of this changed. Jaemin had stayed home once again and Donghyuck was supposed to come over that day, Jisung and Chenle not being able to go that day since they had a date planned. Jaemin was laying in bed, scrolling through his phone; he had his back facing the door and when he heard it open he assumed it was just Donghyuck so he didn't say anything.

   "Jaemin?"

   He immediately turned his attention away from his phone and rolled over to see Jeno standing in the doorway. He sat up instantly, turning so his legs dangled off of the edge of the bed.

   "Jeno? What are you doing here?" Jaemin questioned, his throat feeling itchy the second Jeno walked in, the feeling only intensifying when Jeno moved to sit next to him.

   "I'm worried about you, you've been missing so much school and no one would tell me what's wrong with you. Whenever I asked Chenle or Donghyuck they would both just say you slept in, Jisung would just blatantly ignore my messages, but I know better than that, you never miss school even when you're sick." Jeno spoke, pressing the back of his hand against Jaemin's forehead as if he was checking for a fever.

   "I'm fine, don't worry about it." Jaemin spoke, pushing Jeno's hand away, trying his hardest to keep the cough he felt coming from coming out.

   "You're obviously not okay, you're so pale and you're obviously losing weight." Jeno spoke, worried about his best friend. Just as Jaemin was about to push Jeno away again he started coughing violently into the palms of his hands, the amount of time he spent holding it back only making it worse. When he pulled his hands away from his face there was blood and five or six cherry blossom petals being held in his cupped hands.

   "Jaemin... you have Hanahaki?" Jeno asked, eyes wide in shock, frozen in place as Jaemin simply reached down and grabbed a towel from beside his bed, cleaning the petals and blood off of his hands.

   "I didn't want you to know... I didn't want you to worry about me." Jaemin spoke, looking down at his lap, nervous to see how Jeno would react.

   "Jaemin this is serious, you should have told me. I don't mind taking care of you, you're my best friend." Jeno spoke, moving his hand to the back of Jaemin's neck, playing with the ends of his hair. "If you don't mind me asking, who is it?"

   "What do you mean?"

   "Who's the asshole that doesn't love you back?"

   Jaemin froze at the question, hoping Jeno wouldn't be insistent on an answer, "I don't really feel comfortable saying it right now, I'm sorry Jeno."

   "It's alright, Nana, you can tell me whenever you feel comfortable enough to."

 

 

_**Senior Year (12th Grade): 2017-2018** _

**August 2017**

    Ever since Jeno saw Jaemin's condition he stuck to him like glue. Over the summer Jeno had only ever left Jaemin's side to go on dates with Renjun. Jaemin knew Jeno was only worried and trying to help, but in reality he was doing the opposite. Jaemin wanted to scream at him, tell him to leave him alone, to stop reminding him of everything he wanted but could never have. He was hurting so bad and Jeno knew that, he just didn't know that he was the cause of his best friend's pain.

   Jaemin sobbed as he knelt in front of the toilet, a position he found himself in a lot lately, looking into the bowl to see, rather than the usual petals, full flower buds; a visual representation of how much worse his condition had gotten. He knew it was only a matter of time before he began to cough up fully grown cherry blossoms.

 

**November 2017**

   "Jaemin... can you please tell me who it is that's making you hurt like this?" Jeno asked, the both of them sitting on the floor of Jaemin's bedroom watching some TV show as they simply talked over it.

   "No." Jaemin answered, straight forward in hopes that Jeno would pick up on the fact that this was a topic Jaemin really didn't want to talk about.

   "Does whoever it is even  _know_ that you love them?" Jeno pushed, trying to finally get some answers out of his best friend.

   "No, he doesn't, and I don't plan on ever telling him." Jaemin answered, starting to get frustrated at Jeno's pushiness.

   "Jaemin... you have to tell him eventually, what, are you just going to let this slowly kill you?" Jeno grew mad as he tried to get any answers at all out of Jaemin. The younger letting out a sigh before responding.

   "Yes, Jeno, I am. Because they boy I love is already taken by someone else and he'll never love me back so it's better to just hide it at this point than to be even more hurt when he rejects me." Jaemin was almost yelling at this point, tears streaming down his face and his throat burning as he tried to hold back his coughs.

   "Nana..." Jeno muttered, reaching a hand up to cup Jaemin's cheek, only for his hand to be slapped away.

   " _Don't touch me."_ Jaemin snapped, the older unsure of what to say as he was taken aback at how angry and upset Jaemin was, in the twelve years they had been friends Jeno had never seen him  _that_ angry. "Jeno, I-I think you should leave." he spoke, his anger dying out, replaced with overwhelming hurt and heartache.

   Jeno stood up to leave wordlessly, stopping when he reached Jaemin's bedroom door, "If you ever need to talk jus-"

   "Just  _get out Jeno_." Muttering those words hurt more than anything Jaemin had ever done.

 

**December 2017**

   Jaemin had never been in more pain in his life. It was winter break and he hadn't seen or spoken to Jeno since their argument. The only times he ever saw Jeno he was walking hand in hand with Renjun, which made Jaemin's throat itch more and more every time he saw the sight. He thought Jeno being kind and visiting him everyday was bad, but not seeing him in over a month was even worse, especially considering that they weren't on good terms.

   His condition just got worse and worse every single day. The buds began to bloom and Jaemin grew thinner and paler the more his health deteriorated, his once bright smile and sparkling eyes replaced with a blank expression with no emotion behind it. It didn't take very long at all for Jaemin to start coughing up fully bloomed flowers.

   At this rate he wouldn't even live long enough to graduate highschool.

 

**January 2018**

~~~~With his condition growing worse Jaemin was missing a ton of school. Each week there were at least two days he had to stay home, too weak to even get out of bed; there was even a whole week he missed. He knew that at this rate he definitely wouldn't graduate, at that point it didn't even matter since his health was going down so fast he probably wouldn't even get to see his cap and gown.

   Jeno began to grow more and more worried each day. He wanted to check on his best friend, make sure he was doing okay, but he knew that the younger probably wouldn't want to see him. Donghyuck, Chenle and Jisung couldn't help but feel a bit angry each time they saw Jeno with Renjun, they knew it wasn't technically his fault since he didn't know, but they couldn't help but feel mad at Jeno for being the reason Jaemin was slowly dying.

 

**February 2018**

   Jaemin continued to miss more and more school as his condition continued to worsen, when he would actually be able to make it to school a good majority of the time he would have to go home early. Jeno knew Jaemin was still mad at him and probably didn't want to see him but he couldn't just sit there and not at least  _try_ to be there for his best friend. It was just a normal day in late February and like most days, Jaemin wasn't at school; it was after school and Jeno was on his way to Jaemin's house, finally ready to see him again after not speaking a word to him for three months.

   When Jeno knocked on the door it was Jaemin's mother who answered. Initially she was shocked to see him, but a smile quickly spread on her face as she pulled him in for a hug before telling him that Jaemin was in his room, probably sleeping.

   When he opened the door to the bedroom he wasn't shocked to see the younger curled up in a tight ball under the comforter, only the top of his head visible from underneath his large blanket. Jeno carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and ran a hand through Jaemin's hair.

   "Nana, can you wake up for me?" Jeno asked softly, Jaemin immediately whined and rolled over so he was facing Jeno.

   "Why are you here?" Jaemin asked sleepily, a couple small coughs leaving his mouth as he brought his fists up to rub at his tired eyes.

   "I'm really worried about you, Nana. I know you're still mad at me but-"

   "I'm not mad at you, I never was." Jaemin interrupted, pushing the blanket off and sitting up and the edge of the bed next to Jeno. "I'm just more frustrated at myself for not being able to tell you and I haven't really been talking to anyone at all lately since I've missed so much school."

   "I'm really, really sorry for getting so pushy and upset at you for not telling me, if you don't want to tell me who it is then don't, I have no right to try to force you into telling me." Jeno apologized, watching Jaemin nod his head in response. He couldn't help but note Jaemin's appearance; his shirt that once was only slightly baggy now fell off of his shoulder. His skin was deathly pale and he had lost a massive amount of weight. Jeno couldn't miss the bags and dark circles that were under Jaemin's eyes and he definitely saw that the innocent, happy sparkle that was once in his eyes had disappeared, replaced with a dull, lifeless and blank stare. "Jaemin.. you look-"

   "Like shit? Yeah, I know, I feel like it too." Jaemin cut in, a cough ripping from his throat once he finished talking, a single fully bloomed flower falling into his palm. He simply dropped the flower on the floor, barely worried about making a mess anymore.

   "So, you're not going to tell him?" Jeno questioned, running a soothing hand over Jaemin's back.

   Jaemin shook his head, staring down at his lap. "There's no point anymore, I'm too close to dying, he's taken and there's no way I would somehow manage to make him fall in love with me before I die, especially looking like this."

   "God... I-I hate thinking about you dying, I really don't want to lose you, Nana." Jeno spoke, getting choked up as he pulled Jaemin into a tight embrace, the two resting their heads on each other's shoulders. Jaemin was going to enjoy Jeno's affection for as long as he could. Jeno was the person he loved and even if the feeling wasn't neutral he wanted to spend as much time with the boy he loved as possible before he died.

 

**March 2018**

   From that point on Jeno would go to Jaemin's house every single day, wanting to spend as much time with his best friend as possible. In early March Jaemin decided to just drop out of school entirely, not seeing any point in still going.

   The two of them were sitting on the floor of Jaemin's room, sharing snacks, talking and watching some awful movie, just as they had always done ever since they were kids. When it got quiet between them Jaemin started to stare off, getting lost in thought as he contemplated telling Jeno the truth.

   "Jeno..." Jaemin muttered softly, waiting until the older's full attention was on him before continuing, "do you want to know who it is?"

   Jeno stared at him wide-eyed, not expecting Jaemin to want to tell him, "If you feel comfortable telling me I'd love to know, but don't feel like you're being forced to tell me."

   "There's not any point in me keeping it a secret from you anymore, Chenle and Donghyuck have known since the beginning, I'm frankly shocked they never spilled anything to you. Worst case scenario at this point is that you completely reject me and it just speeds up my death."

   "Jaemin what do you mea-"

   "It's  _you,_ Jeno. I'm in love with  _you_ , I have been since sixth grade. The day you told me you and Renjun started dating was the day I coughed up flowers for the first time. When we got into that argument back in December that was the most pain I've ever been in. Not seeing you and not hearing your voice for  _two months_ was the worst pain I've ever been in in my entire life. God, it hurt so bad seeing you with Renjun every day at school, Jeno... it still hurts knowing you'll never love me the same way I love you." Jaemin spilled, tears falling onto his cheeks as he finally took all of that weight off of his shoulders.

   "Jaemin, I-"

   "You don’t have to say anything, I already know you're going to reject me. It's okay, I'm not going to be mad at you. I could never be mad at you." Jaemin spoke softly, a meaningless smile on his face as he wiped at his wet eyes with the sleeve of his baggy sweater.

   Jeno ran a hand through his hair, a shaky sigh leaving his mouth, "Jaemin... fuck, I-I wish you had told me sooner,  _why didn't you tell me sooner_ _?"_ Jeno questioned, tears pooling in his eyes as well as he thought of all the pain his best friend had gone through because of  _him_. 

   "I knew you would reject me and you-you had Renjun already, why would you have loved me back when you already loved someone else?"

   "I wouldn't have rejected you, Nana, fuck, I've loved you since freshman year, I  _still_ love you. If you had told me I would have broke up with Renjun in a heartbeat for you. Me and Renjun don't  _love_ each other, maybe we did a bit in the beginning but we've been growing apart this whole school year. When I asked him out I never had very strong feelings for him, I was trying to let go of my feelings for you so I wouldn't hurt our friendship but I didn't know I was  _hurting_ you by doing so. I'm not staying with Renjun if it's slowly killing you,  _I love you, Jaemin."_ Jeno spoke, staring at Jaemin's tear streaked face with nothing but love in his eyes.

   "Jeno you don't have to do that... what about Renjun? Wouldn't that hurt him?" Jaemin tried, not expecting that response out of Jeno.

   Jeno cut in quickly, not letting Jaemin try to convince him not to break up with Renjun, "I want to break up with him Jaemin. You're one of the most important people in my life, we've been through everything together and I'm not going to let you die from this when I  _do_ love you back. Renjun won't be hurt, I promise, our breakup has been coming for a while and his reason for being with me is the same, he's trying to forget about his feelings for the person  _he_ loves and maybe me breaking up with him will finally make him confess to that person. I'm going to go to Renjun's house and talk to him, explain everything, and I'll be right back, okay Nana?" Jeno stated, not giving Jaemin a chance to say anything as he pressed a kiss to the younger's forehead before quickly getting up and leaving.

 

**April 2018**

   Jeno's breakup with Renjun went well, better than he could have ever imagined it going. Jeno pretty much sprinted to Renjun's house and they mutually agreed that they would break up; they both felt that they were growing apart. When Jeno explained the situation with Jaemin Renjun almost started crying, feeling guilty and blaming himself for the pain Jaemin was in even though in reality it wasn't anyone's fault. They ended things on good terms, agreeing to still be friends before Jeno made his way back to Jaemin's house so they could work out their own relationship.

   It was a month later and Jaemin still wasn't in school, with his love no longer being unrequited he was slowly recovering but it would take a long time for his lungs to fully heal. With how bad his condition had gotten it could take up to five years for him to fully recover, but with Jeno by his side he would be okay.

   Jeno was still going to Jaemin's house everyday after school, sometimes he would bring their friends along with him but most of the time he just wanted to spend some time with his boyfriend.

   It was a Friday in late April and Jeno was at Jaemin's house after school as always and the two were lying in Jaemin's bed cuddling, simply enjoying each other's warmth. Jaemin was curled up, pressing his face into Jeno's chest and humming happily as the older held him tightly and ran a gentle hand through his hair. Jaemin was finally starting to look healthy again, he was starting to gain back the weight he lost and his skin was getting its color and healthy glow back.

   Jeno couldn't help but stare lovingly at his boyfriend, glad to finally see him happy after over a year and a half of being in constant physical and emotional pain. "I love you so much, baby." Jeno muttered, placing a kiss on top of Jaemin's head.

   "I love you too." Jaemin mumbled out in his half asleep state, Jeno's words making his heart feel somewhat lighter.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this, I really didn’t want to have to make a note on this story but since I’m getting the same comment a lot I’ll add one. I know a lot of nomin writers use Renjun as a “bad guy” or make him “evil” in a sense but that really wasn’t my goal and it’s upsetting seeing that that’s all anyone in the comments cares about, especially considering how hard I worked on this one shot. I love Renjun, I love every member of NCT Dream and I would never go out of my way to make a member look bad in one of my stories. I took so much into account witing this and one of the biggest things I had to take into account was how to make sure every single character got a happy ending and how to make sure Renjun would be happy even after splitting up with Jeno. I went out of my way to make sure to mention that Renjun also had someone he was more in love with than Jeno (in my mind I was imagining Lucas but I didn’t go into detail about that because it’s not important to the plot) and I made sure he was never portrayed as a villain in this fic, he was just as oblivious as Jeno and Jaemin was never mad at him for anything, because Jaemin knew Renjun had nothing to do with it. Im sorry if this kinda ruined the mood of the fic... I really didn’t want to put notes on this but all people are commenting about is the Renjun situation and it’s really really bumming me out since I get so excited to see comments on my new stories but for this fic it was all about one thing...


End file.
